My Angolan penpal

[ttraub]

If you've been following my exchange with Dr. Martins Godfery, you know the ropes by now. It's all about wasting a con artist's time by sending him moronic replies. This beauty came from a Dutch address and purports to be concerning a fortune in Angola.

From: savimbi kemotoli <k.savimbi@caramail.com>
To: k.savimbi@caramail.com
Subject: FROM KIMOTOLI SAVIMBI
Date: Mon, 06 Jan 2003 12:36:26 GMT+1

Good Day,

With warm heart I offer my friendship, and greetings, and I
hope this mail meets you in good time. However strange or
surprising this contact might seem to you, as we have not
met personally or had any dealings in the past, I humbly
ask that you take due consideration of its importance and
immense benefit. I also sincerely seek your confidence, as
I make this proposal to you as a person of integrity.

First and foremost I wish to introduce myself properly to
you. My name is Oliveira Chuli Savimbi, I am a nephew and
Personal Assistant to Late Jonas Malheiro Savimbi, leader
of UNITA (National Union for the Total Independence of
Angola). As led by my instinct, I selected your email
address from an internet directory, in my search for a
partner, hence this email.

My Uncle(Mentor) was killed in a battle with government
forces of Angola, led by President Dos Santos, on Friday
22nd February 2002. After his death, Mr. Antonio Dembo who
was his second in command, assumed office as leader of
UNITA, due to lack of the Charisma my Uncle had carried the
party with in Dembo, there was chaos and struggle for
leadership. Prominent members like Carlos Morgado lobbied
to depose him and assume office as leader to enrich
themselves and some of them who saw me as a threat to their
ambitions, including Mr.Dembo, planned to kill me. The
tension and confusion in UNITA become uncontrollable when
Mr. Dembo died 10days after my Uncle's death. As I lost my
mentor in this struggle which has been on for three decades
now, not so much of this struggle interests me anymore, as
there is now no sense of direction. I now desire a peaceful
life, as I am no more interested in conflicts and wars. For
this reason, I secretly left Angola and came here (Holland)
to seek political asylum.

I am sincerely proposing to you to render me your highly
needed assistance in respect to safekeeping of some of my
Uncle's money that arose from Diamonds sales. This money
(US$18.5million), which was already on its way to my
Uncle's Swiss Bank account, through the Diplomatic means we
use to move money abroad, and was on transit with a private
safe deposit security company here in Amsterdam, Holland in
February when the tragic incident of my Uncle's death
occurred. I then instructed the company to secure the
consignment containing the money pending on further
instructions from me. I have waited for sometime now for
security reasons, and have now deicded to act with your
reliable assistance. As a matter of fact, the reason I came
to Holland and sought for political asylum here is the safe
deposit.

President Dos Santos has lobbied the International
Community to freeze my Uncle's assets and accounts abroad,
to ground UNITA, and has already done this in Angola. Hence
I cannot lodge the funds in my name. Also I did not declare
the funds to the here.

I plan to use this money to safeguard my future. It is very
essential that you understand that the kind of trust and
confidence I want to put in you is extraordinary, and an
act of desperation on my part, in order not to lose this
money. Also, ensure that this contact with you should be
treated with utmost secrecy.

Your role in this project, is clearing the safety deposit
containing the money which is deposited in my name, from
the Security company, after which, the money will lodged
into an account preferably a new account you should open
for this transaction. My share of the money will be
returned to me when my asylum application in this country
is granted, and I have permission to do business and open
an account here.

For your reliable assistance, I will reward you with 15%
($2,775,000) of the money.

I have with me, the Certificate of Deposit for the
consignment containing the funds, which will be used for
claim from the security company, and the release codes of
the vaults. Also, everything will be legally processed for
transfer of ownership to you, and this transaction should
be completed immediately depending on your prompt response.

I thank you in advance as I anticipate your assistance in
enabling me achieve this goal.

Please contact me whether or not you are interested in
assisting me. This will enable me scout for another partner
in the event of non-interest on your part.

To know more about the struggle by UNITA to liberate
Angola, click on the link below and read.

http://www.the-idler.com/IDLER-02/3-16.html
_________________________________________________________
Gagne une PS2 ! Envoie un SMS avec le code PS au 61166
(0,35 Hors co=FBt du SMS)

This guy's sophisticated; he understands lower case. Let's mess with his mind a little. Let him guess what religion we are. I notice he didn't use any religious jargon anyway so this should doubly throw him off.

To: k.savimbi@caramail.com
Subject: FROM KIMOTOLI SAVIMBI
Date: Jan 6 2003 12:40PM

Dear Oliveira,

It is with joy that we greet the new year, Allah be praised! Your story
touched me to my heart, and my rabbi shared it with the entire congregation
last Friday.

I wish to help you any way I can. Please send more information as it is
forthcoming.

Yours in Christ,
Terry Garglebreath

Well it took him a couple of days to get back to me. He politely ignores all the weirdness in my email.

From: savimbi kemotoli <k.savimbi@caramail.com>
To: "Gargle Breath"
Subject: EXPECTING YOUR URGENT CALL SOON
Date: Wed, 08 Jan 2003 19:10:47 GMT+1

Dear Sir,

I am in recipt of your mail,once again thank very much for
your effort.

Please is very important you send to me your private
telephone and fax numbers so that can call you for more
explaination,meawhile,your account is needed for the
sucessfull of this transaction,you can call me with this
phone number possibly today +0022507066842 please call me i
will be waiting to hear from you as soon as you recieve
this mail.

Due to the present political crises in this country now,i
went to inqure from the bank how many days will it take
them to transfer the money and they told me that it will
take them three working days,so i will like you to hury up
and submict your banking details so that i will go and
instruct the bank to tranfer the money to your account for,
profitable investment in your country.

Please my good friend,I have a very big trust on you
believing that you will not betray me as soon as the money
gets to your account,i will be sending to you my photo and
as soon as you recieve my i will be expecting yours.

Thanks and be blessed

Yours Sincerely
Oliveira Savimbi

Mr. Savimbi has become impatient. Before I could compose a suitable response, he sent me another one.


From :
savimbi kemotoli <k.savimbi@caramail.com>
To : "Gargle Breath"
Subject : CONFIDETIAL PLEASE
Date : Thu, 09 Jan 2003 13:28:20 GMT+1

Dear Sir,

I am in reciept of your mail dated 07/01/2003 contents was
well understood.

Please what kind of informations do you need ? i ahe with
me all the necessry documents that covers this
transaction,which was issued to my late uncle the day he
deposited the money with the bank,i will like you to call
me so that we can discuss to details before sending the
documents to you for your verrification.

Dont forget to include your private telephone and fax
numbers for easy communication and also i will need to know
you in person,and you can do that by sending to me your
photo,as soon as i recieve it i shall send my to you
immediately,and also your banking details will be needed,i
have to go and submit them to the bank and insruct them to
transfer the money to your account as the beneficiary of
the fund and also my partner abroad.

Notice,you have to know that this transaction is 100% risk
free,and the most important is that you have to make if
confidential for my security reasons and also for the money
too.

Thanks and be blessed.waiting for your urgent responds and
you cal just call me on this number +0022507066842 please
call me is very important we discuss in details.
Yours Sincerely
OLIVEIRA SAVIMBI

Risk free, eh? Risk free for him, anyway. I think I'll push him a little bit and see how he reacts.

Date: Jan 10 2003
Subject: Re: CONFIDETIAL PLEASE

Dear Mr. Savimbi,

Thank you for your letter. I am overjoyed to hear from you again. I have told
my family about your letter and how much money we're going to make. We have a
young son who is dying of cancer. It is as though God has answered our
prayers! Now we can pay for cancer treatment and save our son's life.

God bless you Mr. Savimbi!!!

Regarding the information you asked for, here is my phone number: 617-742-5533
I may answer the phone with a false name or organization but don't be fooled.
It is because there are many spies in this city and I am afraid they will
discover our relationship and plot to steal the money! Unlike your fine
country of Angola, Americans have no morality whatsoever and would kill you in
a minute for money.

Please tell me what else you need me to do. I am so excited I can barely think
straight. This morning I put my left shoe on my right foot and vice versa; it
made it very hard to walk to work I can tell you! Not to mention that I had my
shirt on backwards. Many people stared at me. But it is all for the best.
Soon my friend we will both be rich!

Sincerely yours,
Terry Garglebreath

Hee, hee! I gave him the number of the local FBI office. Too bad we can't get a recording of [i]that[i] conversation! I hope they nail him, but somehow I doubt he's that stupid.