My Zimbabwean Penpal

[ttraub]

Ye gods! When will they stop!!! Now I'm getting spam from Zimbabwe (supposedly). Check out my first Nigerian exchange. He seems to have given up. So has my Angolan penpal. Methinks they get impatient rather quickly, or else they figure out how idiotic some of my statements are and get suspicious. I mean, sure, only a moron is going to believe these crooks anyway, but they probably don't want to waste time with crazy morons!

From: "Carl Eblon" <carleblon@mail.com>
Date: Fri, 10 Jan 2003 09:33:54 -0800
Subject: Information


From: Carl Eblon
Tel.fax: 27-83-689-5105
Email: carleblon@mail.com


Dear,

Compliment of the season.

Naturally, this letter will come to you as a surprise since we
have not met, permit me however, I am Mr. Carl Eblon, a Zimbabwean Farmer.

I am contacting you as the need to for me to have a foreign
partner in your country has become necessary due to my plans to relocate and
establish a private company in that region, as the present political
instability in my country Zimbabwe, does not encourage financial investment as the
environment is not conducive for investment and most of all security is not
insured, just as reported by international media.

This problem started when the Zimbabwean government under the
leadership of President Robert Mugabe announced a degree on May 31st 2000 to
seize more than 849 white-owned farms. So far, more than 1,400 white owned
farms have been invaded and confiscated, as well as claiming the properties
of the farmers.

During these periods, as reported by international media and the
CNN, more than 6 white farmers were killed, the government is not stopping
at this, as just recently the government have asked all white-farmers to
give up their farms to black farmers or risk going to prison. Having lived in
this country Zimbabwe for more than 35 years, I have no other country to go
to, nor can I trace any of my distant relatives. Therefore, I decided to
contact you, for your assistance, so that I can establish a company in your
country and relocate there. Also, I must re-iterate the importance of having
a citizen of your country to front as the owner of the enterprise, due to
the fact that I am a foreigner.

For this purpose, I have put in a security deposit all monies
from the sale of my farm and farming equipments (including tractors etc)
which amounted to US$6.5Million, I will upon receiving your consent prepare
every document to enable you receive this money on my behalf, pending my
arrival to meet with you in your country so that we can both make further
arrangements with regards to establishing the company.

As a partner you will be entitled to 20% stake in whichever
company that you both decide to establish when I arrive your country.

I am waiting urgently for your response.

Cheers and God bless.

Best Regards

CARL EBLON
EBLON FARMS ZIMBABWEA

Wow. A white farmer in Zimbabwe who was able to sell his farm for millions of dollars. I'm really going to believe that. And even with all that money, he still needs a U.S. citizen to "front" his company. I'm going to play dumb redneck.

Dear Mr. Eblon,

May God bless you too, sir. I am overjoyed to receive your letter because our
family is in financial distress. My employer has gone bankrupt and we are
about to lose our house. On top of that, my brother is very ill and needs a
lot of money for his HIV medicine. My sister is in a drug treatment facility,
trying to get off heroin. Well, she's not really trying that hard; they put
her there; it was either that or jail. Anyway, to sum it all up we really,
really need money and your letter was like a rock falling on my head right out
of heaven! I just can't believe it.

Mr. Eblon, I want to help you any way I can to get your money over here to the
good old U.S.A. and all I ask is that you give me a 30% stake. I think that's
pretty reasonable since we don't have an established business relationship as
yet.

Let me know what you think. Once again I hope the Lord smiles on you for your
great kindness. I await your answer with bad breath. Yours in God Almighty,

Terry Garglebreath